What if...

Why do I feel this sour feeling in my brain?

Things don't flow like they used to

And the universe is telling me to let go

But this weird sensation of losing you

Is making me hold to this 'what if' situation

And I feel vulnerable

Like I put myself out there

But it was not enough

And something broke inside of me

I don't see you how I used to

I miss your embrace every second

But I've been stealing it

And it's not mine too keep

I feel like I'm forcing something

That it's not supposed to exist

And this sour feeling hurts me to the core

Because you're taking me for granted

And my whole body wants me to stay

While my brain is telling me to leave

Should I just let you go?

Because I feel like you wanna stay no more

And I deserve more than this

I deserve someone who's here for me

Someone who makes me feel safe

What should I do?

How should I proceed?

Do you wanna talk at all?

How do you feel?

I don't know and I can't live with this uncertainty

It's pulling me down

And down I am trying to get something from you

That I feel is no longer there

And I fear it's gonna hurt me so bad

And numb my heart once more

That I should just go before it's too late

I must be brave enough to listen to this whisper

Telling me that this 'What if' is just a delusion

And just stop trying to engage to something

That is not working in my favor

I should just live my life

How it has always been

And maybe how it's supposed to be...

Without you, you asshole

Priscila de Athaides - 24/11/21