Tired

I have to keep in mind:
I didn't do anything wrong.
Otherwise I'll go crazy
trying to find mistakes where there isn't
or trying to blame myself for things I didn't do.
The world is broken
and people twist things on their own favor.
I'm tired of blaming me
because I'm not what people think I should be.
And I do know there is nothing wrong with me.
I'm Just a girl in a world not made for me
where some people blame their flaws on us,
their weak minds on our Strong desires
and certainties about The future
and on our ambicious - or lack of it.
I'm tired of feeling sad
or having this stupid Idea
that people are demonizing me 
To justify their own sadness.
I'm tired of my anxiety
that keeps putting things on my mind,
giving me The ideia people just don't care.
And probably they don't.
I need to be my own fort
and stop relying my happiness on others.
I'm tired... I'm just too tired.
And it scares me feeling lonely
and all this apathy around me
and how it's slowly making my depression coming to the surface.
It's tiring pretend to myself that everything is fine.
But it makes me feel hope
knowing everything can be fine
if I'm strong enough.

Priscila de Athaides - 23/06/2016